Now,Im not that women who perceives every man as a DOG. Initially I needed time to heal from previous relationships that took a toll on my heart, mind and spirit. I had always been in relationships. I never allowed myself to heal or even have time alone between each break-up.
Initially I fell in love with my High School sweetheart. I loved or lusted the guy so much . Yea you can be in lust too. Especially as a young little hot pants teenager! , (*smh*) Well Long story short I actually had a child with him and married him all by the age of 19 years old. My life was going at about 1 millions Miles a second but I was happy and in Love... until My husband and I hit a brick wall. Things had changed between both of us, He worked very hard so I didn't want to bother him with my concerns of our issues.. I didn't want to nag him but I definitely felt the change in the air, if that makes sense.
One day I had my family over, my husband was at work. He came home and walked in, seen everyone and pulled me to the side and whispered " We need to talk " .... I seen something different in him, I seen something unsettling and assertive in his eyes.. I responded, "ok let me ask everyone to leave". After everyone left My husband sat me on the bed and just blurted out ," I ain't feeling this", I said "What?? what do you mean you are not FEELING THIS??". He went on to say that his friends at work had told him that he was too young to be married(currently he is no longer in contact with not one of his friends and according to him its because they have all married, had children and moved on) ... He said that things were going too fast for him and he wasn't ready for this life. He proceeded to the closet and grabbed all the clothes he could carry and looks at me and says , you can keep everything I'll just take the car, Like that was a small ... I needed the car , I have our SON pffft ~anyways~. As he proceeded out of the door he then turned around and said, " Oh, I was Pretending to be a Christian so I could keep you". Then he walked out and left my Son and I and never looked back.
My Sister Vakiesha and My sister( by marriage) Sarah and an old friend spent the entire night watering and sun-shinning me... I felt like a flower that had been crushed, That night with my family helped momentarily but internally...I felt like ....death...I didn't realize how much I loved Marcos until he left.. I remember telling My Mom that I would of felt better if he had died a week before with me assuming he loved me then him walking out knowing that he doesn't love me anymore.
I was devastated , I thought about suicide but my Son and God held me together. I stayed in contact with my in-laws just to have a little bit of my husband. I tried to lose weight, I tried to do anything to get my husband back, but his heart was completely disconnected. The worst part about it is I never knew what I had did, He never told me if I had contributed, He never gave me a chance to fix things... He never gave me a chance and I was broken...
Thereafter I tried to move on, I got into a " rebound relationship" with a deranged psychopath that lasted too long, That second rebound relationship isn't worth a moments , So I will move on...After the Pychopath, along Comes Mr. Everything's right .. Or was it?
Hope you enjoyed part one of " I'm single because I'm serious about my time" day 1
Enjoy- Melanie xo~
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